As I was driving in to teach week 2 of my summer course I heard a story about fertility on NPR: http://www.npr.org/2011/05/31/136401095/nudging-young-women-to-think-about-fertility As I heard the women talk about why they had chosen to freeze their eggs and how a 40 year old woman walked out of a workshop frustrated because she wished she had known about such an option earlier in her life...I began to cry! I thought I would have to pull over as my eyes filled with tears and my vision became blurry! Oh Lord! I thought time and a beautiful baby boy would heal (and maybe make me forget) the losses, the frustration of trying, the anger at hearing my age mentioned at OBGyn appointments as a bad thing, the sadness, the shame, the pain....OY! I am so thankful for our miracle baby and grateful that once pregnant that the pregnancy went well and the delivery was as easy as the pregnancy; and I was not prepared to be moved to tears by any story on fertility, eggs, etc. I guess I foolishly thought that once I had a baby, that the memories and pain would go away. Today on the highway I was reminded that life is precious and that the biology of it all is complicated! Damn NPR for their informative educational programming (ha-ha-ha)!
I still cringe as my sisters-in-law ask when we're planning baby #2, I just look at them and ask with my eyes "Did you forget how long it took us to have this baby?! Do you not remember what we went through?!" The insensitivity is so huge! I guess regardless of what you go through to get pregnant and give birth, people forget once you have a live healthy baby and assume you can do it again with the snap of your fingers. I'm thankful for our miracle, we are so in love with him and so humbled by the whole process, and in no hurry to go through what we think might be traumatic again! I guess you never forget and that will have to be o.k. I suppose.
Today my heart, prayers, and thoughts are with those still TTC and to those who have been there...Life is precious and not as easy as we think to create!
My mother is already pushing for me to have another baby. She has no idea what we went through to get this one so I can't really expect her to understand just how lucky we are already. It totally makes me cringe every time though.
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