Calgon Take Me Away

Does anyone remember the "Calgon take me away" commercials? That's how I feel today!

Summer in New England is BUSY! After months of being stuck inside or being limited to outdoor activities because of snow, etc. there is A LOT to do in the summer. Our weekends are packed with more than 2 invitations for events (weddings, graduations, cook-outs, etc.).  In the African community each event requires cooking something to bring and share (no cheese and crackers or fruit platters for this crowd).  So I find myself cooking twice a weekend for some event. I enjoy it and like to contribute to my friend's lives in this way, but with a 7 month old it is often a bit much.

AND as soon as we thought we had our son's sleeping patterns, etc. figured out he had the audacity (ha-ha-ha) to begin to grow 4 teeth at the same time (this has kept him up or kept him waking up for the last 3 nights).

Did I mention that my niece had an 8 a.m. flight to San Fran to start her new job at Google?

*sigh* and "AAHHH" all at once!

So my scholarship work that needs to get done as I enter the 2 years before tenure is not really getting done. I'm slightly nervous, but always go back to "I don't mind having to work at Target and Starbucks."  I'm barely keeping up with the grading for my intensive 6 week summer school class...and trying to prep for the next 6 week summer school class (both of which I'm teaching so we can feel comfortable financially given our new precious family member). 

I want to set a good example for my baby son (women can work and be good mommies and wives), but right now I feel as if I'm not balancing all of this well (didn't I already write a post about this? LOL) My friend told me today that after the 1st year the balancing gets easier....really? I hope so!

I stayed up late on Saturday (2 a.m.) just to relax my hair (Rosanna - that's for you!). My hubby is almost finished with the new bathroom downstairs and I'd love to take a long soak with bubble and wine....right after the baby stops teething and refusing to eat (that's the last 24 hours).

In related news - we're preparing for our car trip to D.C. and Atlanta. I'm frantic about having all the appropriate baby gear and enough food (how do I keep the milk cold), diapers, etc. What can we buy once there as opposed to lugging with us? Will he survive the long drive? Will we survive? I'm looking forward to all the family time but so anxious about the packing!!!

Anyway...I am really loving my new role as mommy! Baby Ngwa is so precious and easy to love. He's become incredibly active and strong! It is already difficult to keep up with him and he's not even walking yet, although I see that right around the corner.

I need to transfer photos from iphone to email so I can post the latest.....stay tuned.....

Time flying by!

Been too busy to blog, so here's a brief note:

Every mother always says "Enjoy your baby before you know it he will be so big. Time flies by so quickly."  Intellectually, of course, I understood what those statements mean. Emotionally, I'm not prepared!

He now sits up, pulls himself up to standing, crawls fast, and has 2 additional teeth growing! AND we're buying a bigger car seat because he's outgrown the "baby" one and we want him to be comfortable for our road trip down south. He has tons of sounds, many of which sound like words "go" "ow" and "ma" are the 3 we think we hear! OMG! I'm not ready!

I'll post pictures this weekend.

Shopping, spending and saving?

How come, even when I stick to my list, I still spend over $100 at Target?
How come none of the coupons in my paper ate for things I need or want to buy?
How come I can't resist buying cute baby clothes not on sale?
How come the healthy food is more expensive than the cheaper food?
At risk of outing my political leanings (or at the risk of sounding like I lean in a direction I don't)....How come there's no benefit/assistance for educated professionals who are trying to make it all work out without teaching 3 extra classes!?

Yes, I'm grocery, household shopping today and feeling grouchy! LOL! So much for my previous posts about the "sunny side" ha-ha-ha!

Oh, maybe grouchy becuz credit card info was stolen and now some fact guys from India calling to say I owe for some loan I took out (which I didn't)! UGH!

Remembering Why

Memory and rememebring has become more and more important to me as I see my mom losing her memory (5 years + now). Yesterday I discovered that she is able to remember many negative and "bad" events from long ago and yesterday but yet cannot remember what she ate for breakfast or our wedding or that she got to hold her grandson when he was just 3 weeks old! Alzheimer's is baffling and annoying and I keep trying to hang in there! Memory is important to me and remembering the why to keep me motivated is equally important.

Last night I was reminded why I was 1st attracted to J and why we got married. It was such a nice moment! He came home from work early because he really wanted to mow the lawn and put the tile down in the bathroom he is building downstairs (his ability to build things came as an extra bonus once I said "I do"). Usefully when he wants to do house-work he wants to get to it, not procrastinate, and be done! Anyway...the baby kept reaching out for him (obviously wanting to spend time with daddy), so J changed his clothes and took the baby for a walk up the street, fed him, is played with him! It was an "awwwww" and "YAY!" moment rolled into 1. It's really sweet and a reminder to me that one of the reasons I love J and got married to him is because he can be so sweet and attentive and loving! He has a strong commitment to family, which is important to me, and we (me and the baby) come first! :-)

Thanks for the feedback on hiring help. I think I'm going to go for it and hire someone to come every 2 weeks. Part of my resistance was that J would object and the other part is my constant desire to be a different kind of mother than my mom was (are we all trying to be different than our moms). My mom has numerous strengths (very smart, great educator, amazing social worker, fantastic mommy, caring, loving, good cook) but housekeeping was not one of them (this included not being able to sew costumes, make anything for the bake sale, etc.).  I unconsciously at first then very consciously decided I wanted to be more "home-maker-like" than she had been. So that meant no hired help! Well, to hell with that! I'm tired and need help! :-)

I'm grading papers now and need to be reminded why I wanted to be an educator! Oh! Because it was what my mommy did and she had so much fun doing it! and to encourage and nurture young people to be social activists for positive change and save the world (hee-hee-hee)....despite the fact that their writing is not so great! And I am sure there are lots of social activists who are doing good work who cannot write to save their own lives! Right?!

Here's to remembering why and staying motivated, focused, and inspired!

Hiring Help

So...I keep going back and forth in my mind about hiring help (housekeeping help). I grew up with a live-in nanny/housekeeper who is more like a grandma than hired help! My husband (different culture, different up-bringing) is not keen on having anyone in our house to do anything we can do ourselves. Not only is he true to his culture, but he is also a true New Englander - "do it yourself! don't pay anyone for what you can do yourself!" But I am beginning to feel inept at balancing all my past and new roles. And the housework is falling way by the wayside and I HATE an unkempt house. Several of my friends have someone come in once a week to clean their houses and that seems so normal to me. What happens now is laundry gets done at midnight or I take baby to daycare in order to clean the kitchen. bathroom, etc. J does do housework + all the outside work (shoveling snow, mowing grass, etc.) so his not helping is not the problem. The problem is: we do not have the time to keep the house clean the way it should be which is important to me, not so much to him AND we could use that time to spend with each other and the baby! As it is our "free time" is spent cleaning, etc.

Does anyone have suggestions in general or suggestions for broaching this subject again with J? or should I just sneak someone in once a week to clean?