Remembering Why

Memory and rememebring has become more and more important to me as I see my mom losing her memory (5 years + now). Yesterday I discovered that she is able to remember many negative and "bad" events from long ago and yesterday but yet cannot remember what she ate for breakfast or our wedding or that she got to hold her grandson when he was just 3 weeks old! Alzheimer's is baffling and annoying and I keep trying to hang in there! Memory is important to me and remembering the why to keep me motivated is equally important.

Last night I was reminded why I was 1st attracted to J and why we got married. It was such a nice moment! He came home from work early because he really wanted to mow the lawn and put the tile down in the bathroom he is building downstairs (his ability to build things came as an extra bonus once I said "I do"). Usefully when he wants to do house-work he wants to get to it, not procrastinate, and be done! Anyway...the baby kept reaching out for him (obviously wanting to spend time with daddy), so J changed his clothes and took the baby for a walk up the street, fed him, is played with him! It was an "awwwww" and "YAY!" moment rolled into 1. It's really sweet and a reminder to me that one of the reasons I love J and got married to him is because he can be so sweet and attentive and loving! He has a strong commitment to family, which is important to me, and we (me and the baby) come first! :-)

Thanks for the feedback on hiring help. I think I'm going to go for it and hire someone to come every 2 weeks. Part of my resistance was that J would object and the other part is my constant desire to be a different kind of mother than my mom was (are we all trying to be different than our moms). My mom has numerous strengths (very smart, great educator, amazing social worker, fantastic mommy, caring, loving, good cook) but housekeeping was not one of them (this included not being able to sew costumes, make anything for the bake sale, etc.).  I unconsciously at first then very consciously decided I wanted to be more "home-maker-like" than she had been. So that meant no hired help! Well, to hell with that! I'm tired and need help! :-)

I'm grading papers now and need to be reminded why I wanted to be an educator! Oh! Because it was what my mommy did and she had so much fun doing it! and to encourage and nurture young people to be social activists for positive change and save the world (hee-hee-hee)....despite the fact that their writing is not so great! And I am sure there are lots of social activists who are doing good work who cannot write to save their own lives! Right?!

Here's to remembering why and staying motivated, focused, and inspired!