So...I keep going back and forth in my mind about hiring help (housekeeping help). I grew up with a live-in nanny/housekeeper who is more like a grandma than hired help! My husband (different culture, different up-bringing) is not keen on having anyone in our house to do anything we can do ourselves. Not only is he true to his culture, but he is also a true New Englander - "do it yourself! don't pay anyone for what you can do yourself!" But I am beginning to feel inept at balancing all my past and new roles. And the housework is falling way by the wayside and I HATE an unkempt house. Several of my friends have someone come in once a week to clean their houses and that seems so normal to me. What happens now is laundry gets done at midnight or I take baby to daycare in order to clean the kitchen. bathroom, etc. J does do housework + all the outside work (shoveling snow, mowing grass, etc.) so his not helping is not the problem. The problem is: we do not have the time to keep the house clean the way it should be which is important to me, not so much to him AND we could use that time to spend with each other and the baby! As it is our "free time" is spent cleaning, etc.
Does anyone have suggestions in general or suggestions for broaching this subject again with J? or should I just sneak someone in once a week to clean?
Oh man. We are like twins! I have/had exactly the same issue. I was able to make a breakthrough when I was pregnant by arguing that I really couldn't do as much housework. I campaigned subtly for months, and then when dh started to realize that virtually everyone in our social circle had housekeeping help he relented. I found the women who come and I pay so he has no idea how much it costs, and they only come every other week. It has been a wonderful improvement as I also feel better when there aren't dust bunnies and crumbs all over my house and my bathroom doesn't smell like pee. And we no longer have to feel stressed over vacuuming. It doesn't make sense to pay for childcare so you can do house cleaning when you can pay someone less than the cost of day care to clean your house for you... good luck! I am now working on getting someone to take care of the major yard work.
ReplyDeleteI struggle with this question too. On one hand, as odd as this might sound I like to clean my house- a feeling of completion I often don't get as a social worker. On the other hand, if I didn't have to clean the house tomorrow that would be pretty nice too!
ReplyDeleteI still need to figure this out myself, keep me posted!